Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
