We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
