You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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