I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
