ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
