I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Randomize
