Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
