a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
