Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize