I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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