I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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