just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
