This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
