I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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