im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize