I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
