I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My liver just had a heart attack.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
