i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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