That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
