its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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