I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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