ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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