Where did you get a picture of my penis
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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