This girl is more easily done than said...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
3pm strippers are depressing
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
