How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
