Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
