You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
