NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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