I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
