singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
