I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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