I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
