I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize