guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They took my balls.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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