Dual....:-)
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize
