Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I've blown a few things in my day
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
