just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
