Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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