Your dad touched me again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
