Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize