nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
