this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
