Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
