I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
