That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We got so high we made milksteak
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize