i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Acid is not a monday night drug
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
40s are totally the cure
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
