I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
