he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
