Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
