1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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