Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
