i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
