smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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