i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
