Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize