He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
