I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize