she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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