I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
