this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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