Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
