Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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