Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
