I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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