So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
