We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
