Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I will be naked everywhere
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
