even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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