sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
